Cali's 21st Birthday

The day was so tiring but rewarding! Three people from the office went to the school in Ramurthynagar, and I don't speak Kannada (the state language) and the students their don't speak much English, so we mostly communicate through pictures and things like that. Madhu and Shorie were trying to get students to come up to the table one by one, so I ended up teaching them a dance that had them count to five, and wow they never got tired so we dance for so so so long. Cali's 21st birthday was yesterday! The dinner was nice, it was at a momo place so we had momos and curry and I picked up some vegan cake on the way, and then we went to a bar so Cali could get a drink to celebrate her 21st. It was so great because up until now, I haven't hung out with anyone outside of the office except for Cali and Sanam, so it was a good change of pace, and overall a really great night!

***Also, today is the official half point of my time in India, and I don't think I could be more sad about it. 

Small feminist rant about a small annoyance

Yesterday, Naina, the lady who works with Cultural Vistas in India, came to my work to visit with me and Santhi to get an update on my progress, and I don't know if it's the shift in environment or just that I'm interested in what I'm currently working on, but I've definitely gotten a pretty significant chunk of work accomplished since starting. I finished up so more activities for the sustainability classroom activities, and headed home around 6 with Santhi. I've definitely learned that one of my pet peeves is men who act entitled to female validation. Someone asked me to hang out after work yesterday and after asking "this is just as friends right?", receiving a response that says "We'll let the evening decide that" and having one of the first things he ask me be "are you a lesbian? Because you give off a lesbian vibe", I figured out pretty quickly the night wouldn't be ideal.

I'm not usually one to be abrasive, but if you fucking tell me that people who are bisexual are just experimenting, shove in too many racist jokes (which aren't funny) and get personally insulted (and then pretend not to be by questioning my sexuality) if I say I'm not interested in dating you, it's kind of hard not to be. On top of that he insisted on paying for my dinner and walking me home, both of which I'm sure were done with the best intentions but felt forced as if it were his "male duty" rather than chivalrous.

Sure, the conversation flowed, sure, it never felt awkward and sure, it definitely could have been worse. But when you comment on my silence, it's not because I have nothing to say but because I'm trying to bite my tongue because WOMEN DO NOT HAVE TO VALIDATE YOUR SHITTY ASS MASCULINITY. Don't call yourself a feminist. Don't tell me I'm fucking overthinking your messages when I tell you I don't want the starting or ending point to be my home, because telling me I'm over reacting, intentionally or not, is a manipulation tactic used to make women feel like they can't speak up about their emotions. Don't ask me why I chose to cut my hair because "it looked pretty long." Don't tell me it hurts your feelings when I say I still don't feel comfortable showing you where I live because I'm a female who has been conditioned to be cautious around men they don't know well, particularly at night. So sure, if you don't want to label the night as a date or just as friends, that's your decision. But if I tell you specifically that we are going as only friends, that is me saying no to the possibility of anything more, end of discussion. If there is anything that stuck out to me most, it was probably this. A no is a fucking no. 

Productive day and breezy night

Yesterday was simple, productive, and fun: just the way Mondays should be :). I got to work and finished some more activities for water sustainability that we'll start running in a school on Saturday (sadly I'm missing it because I'll be in Coorg, but I'm glad it's finally picking up, it makes me feel like my work is really positive effecting something!!!) After work I went with Sanam to get some Kurtas altered to fit a bit better (my rib cage is just way too small), pick out some shirts for him (helping people shop for things is still just the most fun thing to me), grab dinner (we went to a casual pasta place) and just ride around and he showed me where he used to live and shared some of his childhood memories, it was all super chill and breezy and lovely. I got home and I talked to my sister some, even though we talk a bit every day, we hadn't talked about our lives much in about half a week which feels crazy long here. Also, there's this really common candy that is yellow and is milk based and pretty cheap, I got some this weekend and they're amazinggggg. I had one while I was talking to my sister last night. It was definitely about the small things yesterday, just another normal but wonderful day in Bangalore.

Brief life update: I. LOVE. INDIA.

I love India. I don't think there's anything that particularly changed, but it really hit me when I was sitting in the sleeper bus from Ujire back to Bangalore. It was late, a little after 11PM and Santhi, my boss, was asleep next to me and I realized that I'd completed my third work week and time was going too quickly and everything was going too quickly... and I'm not ready to leave. Sure, I still have a lot of time left, roughly 5 weeks, but I know they'll go just as rapidly as the first three.

After these next 5 weeks, everything is just supposed to go back to the way that it was. The people in my life now will slowly disappear from contact and all the little and big things will be gone and different: I won't hear Santhi talk about movie plots (which is oddly really comforting), I won't here Brenda talk about her delirious 3 AM snap chats, I won't meet whoever Sanam ends up marrying, or go on walks with Cali to get bananas every Monday during lunch. The people and way of living here just seems so different from the US, it's not so quick paste, people don't get angry at petty things or first world problems, there's relatively zero stress or drama as long as you get your work done....There's something about the way Bangalore, or really India in general, that creates a feeling for me that's different from anywhere else I've lived. I can't really pinpoint it, but it's a mix of free and capable and completely happy, and I'm not ready for that to end.

Sleepover and Koramangala

At work on Saturday I spent most of it getting work done and trying not to fall asleep (getting a good night sleep on a moving sleeper bus from Ujire back to Bangalore wasn't the easiest)! After work I met up with Brenda and Isabel and slept over at their place (we'd planned to see Finding Dory but sadly the movie was sold out.) It was really nice, When we were getting ready to go to sleep I ended up staying up and talking to Brenda about India for way longer than we probably should have. Sunday was super great, Sundays always are :) We woke up and went to this cool yoga and tea place, and then went for lunch at a momo place in Koramangala (it's a college-like town in Bangalore) and then we met up with Cynthia and we went to the mall there and walked to a few street vendors (I got two kurtas!) and went to this cool Indian sweets place and a great Chinese food place for dinner! Definitely a nice way to spend a Sunday before work. 

Selco work trip to Ujire

On Thursday night I met up with people from work to go to Ujire! Ujire is a small town about an 8 hour drive from Bangalore. We took a night/sleeper bus, and arrived around 5AM on Friday. We went to the rural school and it was so so great, the teacher seemed like she really enjoyed her job and the students seemed really animated. While we were there we also went to the top of this mountain and THERE WERE MONKEYS AND IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. The day was really great , we went to the Selco Foundation office for a while and I got some work done, and at night we played cards with some of the other employees that worked at the school. I really enjoy traveling with work, it's cool to see parts of India that aren't just the usual tourist destination :)

Rural schools and more adventures!!!

WOW YESTERDAY WAS SO SO COOL!!! I went with some people to a rural school and we ran baseline tests in subjects like math, writing and reading to understand what they know so far. The school is only one classroom large and there is only one teacher for all the kids ranging from about the ages of 3-9. The school is a bridge school, so the students for the most part only attend the school for 6 months so that they can be more prepared when they enter into a government school. They were all so so sweet, and it felt more like a community than pretty much any school I've ever seen, they all seem like they take care of each other and a lot of kids seem to work as a pseudo parents for their younger siblings. Today should definitely be an adventure, I'm traveling with another intern, my boss and one other person who works at the office to another rural school. We're leaving tonight to head to Ujire, which I'm guessing is 8-9 hours away around 8PM, and then working through Friday and should be back in Bangalore Saturday morning. I've heard Ujire is very green, and I'm looking forward to seeing the school and the differences between the city and Bangalore. It should be a great time and I'm sure I'll learn and see a lot!!

A bit homesick

(This is a picture of my baby back home <3)

Today I went with a couple other people to go look at schools in Bangalore that Selco Foundation is considering adding and adjusting programs to create into a model school for other schools in the area to follow. Sadly the lady that could give us permission to go inside the first primary school wasn't there today and the second school ended up being closed, but it was nice to even see the small parts that I did and get out of the office for a morning. This morning I felt a little more homesick than usual. I never really imagined it to be a problem since I go to school so far from home, but I talked to my sister for a couple hours last night and messaged with a friend back home this morning and I just really wish I could see them. I've been here for about two and a half weeks now and its been such a fun adventure, but tonight, I wish it was an option to sit on my Dad's living room couch with my cat on my lap.

A normal but great day at SELCO

(This is a picture of what I see to my left almost everyday at breakfast)

Today is going well. It was simple and relatively chill and quiet. I got to the office and I'm working with another intern on making a blue print for the past sustainability model that Selco has been running in schools, and it's such a repetitive thing but I'm really a fan of doing things like that. I don't know why but I just get way too much satisfaction and happiness from finishing a certain section and moving on to the next, it feels oddly accomplishing in a small kind of way. This took up most of the day, and after yesterday's jam packed and eventful day it was nice to just be working with head phones in while surrounded by other working people typing away on their computers. The SELCO Foundation building just has a really nice feeling to it, one that feels safe and efficient and amicable (can a place feel amicable??). Today seems to be about the little things and I've finally fallen into a routine and it's so so great. All the small things went right: my peanut butter sandwich was better than normal, I finally got to work before 9:30, I could concentrate much longer than normal, the little store by work had really nice and large bananas. I'm looking forward to have some time this evening to just introvert some and watch a movie on my own...today's been nice. 

Sunday Funday!

Since I only have one day off a week I try and cram as much into Sundays as I possibly can and wow this Sunday was so busy. I woke up around 5:30 in the morning, met up with two of the other cultural vistas girls and we made it to the Bangalore Tour bus on time. IT WAS SO COOL!!! We say three different temples, all different and pretty and peaceful, and then we went on a safari and oh my god I saw the cutest elephant and baby bears and some tigers and lions. After that we went to the modern art museum, and I never really bothered to think about the differences in art style between India and the US, and it's wildly different which made it especially interesting. By that point it was late evening and we all went to this Italian place and got mac and cheese for dinner (I think it's one of the first meals I've had hear that hasn't been in the least bit spicy) haha and then I went home and was so exhausted and just completely crashed. It was definitely an amazing day!! :)

First slum visit

Yesterday I went to my first slum. It was so unreal and it really made me appreciate every little thing I have the privileged of having. There are over 50 slums in Bangalore alone, and most of them have different livelihoods. The slum I attended yesterday with another intern and 3 employees has its own mini hierarchy and was composed of maybe 40-50 families. These families live in homes with walls of tin and a roof of tarps and trash. After you walk down what the call The Road to Nowhere, you reach giant heaps of waste. The slum separates the waste into piles of glass, cans, paper, rubber and other, and then they sell the waste to recycling companies for a very small profit that then must sustains the entire community. Wow I stuck out, I was the only American and the only female. I talked (well tried to because most of them didn't speak English except for a few words) to some of the children and they were all so sweet. Most of them don't attend school, or if they do they don't go on a regular basis, most of them were very independent, most of them didn't even own shoes. 

Date????

I got asked on (what felt like) a date the other day? So I guess that's a life update? He's native to India and is super nice. After work he asked if I wanted to grab tea, and then we got dinner and rode around on his bike (motorcycles are one of the most common modes of transportation here) and got ice cream and just talked a bunch. It was really nice to make better friends with someone and feel pretty comfortable enough with them to have a lengthy conversation (and also seeing the city at night from a motorcycle is so so amazing!!!!) .....and maybe I'm just a noob, but it didn't even really hit me that he was looking for more than friendship until he called me cute. The evening was really great, and I definitely met someone I can throw all of my dumb culture questions at, but I made it clear that I just wanted to be friends. I didn't come to India to find a relationship with a person, but to find a relationship with the country.

***Update from the next week: He's definitely someone I'm really comfortable around and we're luckily just good friends :)

Sunday weekend

Days are really strange here, they feel really long and full and it's weird to think that I've been here for so few days but so much has been packed into them! This weekend, (or really just Sunday because we work on Saturdays) was very refreshing. I met up with the other Cultural Vistas girls and Sanam, a new friend from work, and two of Isabel's friends also joined. We went to a summer palace that was so so pretty and then went to a restaurant called Social that felt very American and familiar, we all got beers and mashed potatoes and ham. then with fully stomachs and warm cheeks we walked around MG road and I got a few a couple souvenirs for friends and family. Sanam has probably become my closest friend other than the other Cultural Vistas fellows, and it's kind of nice to feel comfortable around someone at work that I can crush with my hundreds of dumb questions dealing with work and the culture. He also has a motorcycle....which is so so fun omg

Solar panels and filter coffee

I learned SO MUCH on solar panels. I've never bothered to wonder how they get placed where they do, and in what direction and how installer's determine to what degree a solar panel should be placed. So the equinox, which always falls on either March or September 21st at noon every year creates the Zenith angle (a Zenith angle is the angle in which the solar panel should be placed to get the most sunlight on average) And specifically, at this date and time, the Zenith angle will be the same as you latitude (so for Bangalore it is 12.9 degrees), and this would then change by 23.5 degrees each way depending on the season and your location/latitude. We learned so much more on solar constant and solar irradiance and solar insolation and a lot of other stuff that I won't bore you by writing, but it was really great to learn for the sake of learning and not for any particular class or exam. Also, this is completely unrelated, but I just tried filter coffee, which is a really strong coffee often served in small servings that people in India drink and its the most amazing coffee I think I've ever had in my entire life holy crap.

**All of the solar panel information could totally be wrong, I just learned it all today in mass bulk.

Office mornings

One of my favorite parts of the day is right when I walk into the office. The traffic is so bad in Bangalore; the office officially opens at 9:30, but it takes about an hour for everyone to actually get here. The air always smells like fresh lemons and too much rosemary from the mop water  used earlier that morning, and the walls block out some of the blaring and consistent car horns outside. The office is always cool from the night air and the people are quite and sparse and it's just really really lovely to walk into this environment every morning. The last couple days I've been doing mostly office work: group brain storming, reading up on old project proposals and doing the little office tasks they ask me to do. I really like this kind of stuff, and regardless of what I'm doing it's just nice to feel safe and be around a lot of caring and happy people.

Animals in Bangalore

On the ride back to the office yesterday, I talked to my boss about Bangalore. She's a vegan and she told me a lot about the problems Bangalore is having with animals. Like I never bothered questioning why Bangalore had so many cows walking around??? People will artificalially inceminate cows so that they lactate and can take and sell the milk that the cow provides, and when the cow isn't able to lactate anymore, they JUsT LeT THe cOw gO on tHE sTreEt?!?!?!? And the government doesn't have the monetary means to solve the problem and the citizens have no where to put them, so it just leaves the cows to wonder the streets of Bangalore. Similarly, Bangalore has a problem with an over population of stray dogs, there's at least one stray dog every block or so and none of them have gotten their shots or sterilized. My boss told me that every so often, when the population gets too high, the government will collect as many stray dogs as they can and they either POISON THEM ALL OR LET THEM LOOSE TO STARVE OUTSIDE THE CITY LIMITS. Yesterday, when we were doing field work, there was a monkey chilling on top of the building, and it was so so cute. There are families of monkeys that have lost their habitat as Bangalore has continued to urbanize and expand, and since it's the only place they know, they don't leave. And all of this is just so sad and horrible BECAUSE WHAT THEY FUCK, WHO LET THIS ALL HAPPEN AND GET TO THE STATE THAT IT IS NOW???

First field work at SELCO

Yesterday, I traveled two hours away from Bangalore with my boss to do field work. We went to an all women's school for females that grew up in slum areas and lack a lot of what we would consider basic education. Because of liability, the school is for girls over the age of 18 and all were probably younger than 25. It's so unbelievably different, a lot of the girls have to learn and experience waking up early in the morning for the first time, how to type on a computer and send an email, how to clean things, their basic rights, and how to form the ideas in their heads into audible and cohesive sentences. This school is amazing. In under 4 months, they have to teach all of these girls these skills along with low level English and beautician schools so they have a career path when they graduate from the school. 

First day at SELCO Foundation

(Originally written on Tuesday, June 7th)

I woke up feeling a lot better! Today was my first day interning at SELCO Foundation, an environmental public health non-profit. This place is so great!!!!! It's one of the first places where I've felt fully comfortable and safe since getting here. People smile a bunch and are super caring and helpful, and there are white people that work here (which sounds silly but I've only seen a handful of white people since getting to India and it's nice to not be stared at because I look different, which helps me not feel like such an outsider.) I do think I'm one of the youngest person working/interning here but I don't mind. This is the first internship I've had where information from past  college classes has been surprisingly helpful and useful. I'm working with the education team, which comes up with ideas that help students (like rechargeable solar lights so students can continue studying when the sun goes down if their homes don't have power), visits rural schools to get student's ideas for other helpful technical livelihood interventions, and so many other things. The poorest 3/4 of the global population only uses 10% of the global energy, and SELCO has created a lengthy solution that encourages growth with the most sustainable solutions while prohibiting dependence (which I'm not going to go into or it would take pages of writing), but wow this foundation strives towards a lot of the things I'm really passionate about, IT'S AMAZING!!!!

Food poisoning

Food poisoning is THE. ABSOLUTE. WORST. I sadly didn't make it to my first day of work today because I kept waking up throughout the night with a stomach ache, a pounding headache, dizziness and really high fever. I slept for most of the day. I don't think I've ever slept this much, like I think I was only awake for two or three hours all day and each time, even after taking a lot of medicine, felt absolutely awful. I'm really hoping this passes quickly and I definitely won't be eating anymore popsicles while in India. This is a picture of my room in the hotel I'm staying at in India, and where I spent the last horrible 24 hours.

Lalbagh Gardens

(It's monsoon season here, sorry it's always cloudy!)

Today I woke up at Cynthia's because I spent the night at her place and it was so nice to not spend the morning alone! We went to Lalbagh Gardens, which is one of the main tourist spots in Bangalore. We were lucky enough to happen to go on the day of the Mango Festival and it was so so cool, it was like 30 stands selling nothing but mangoes or mango products! Cynthia and I split a mango popsicle and mango milk, and I bought some mangoes to bring home with me later in the day. Afterwards we walked though the two malls that were sort of close by and it was so nice to see familiar brands, and it must be where most of the white people in the city cluster??? Because it was hecka nice to not be the only people stared at today. I can definitely start to feel myself get slowly adjusted to some of the changes which is so great, and tomorrow is my first day of work so I'm turning in early and hoping it goes smoothly!

***update from later tonight, the food poisoning is so real right now... popsicle wasn't worth it

Some of the differences

There are more differences between the U.S. and India than I ever would have originally considered. Everything from what the birds sound like when I wake up in the morning, to the unorganized driving decisions (it's like lanes don't exist here??? And everyone honks their horns all the time for no reason???), to the way outside smells, to the cell service, to the food on menus, to living alone for the first time, to the public transportation, the norms and customs, the clothes people wear, the languages and accents (the language barrier is huge omg), the animals walking around (COWS EVERYWHERE!!!), and so so so much more. I thought it would be easy to not get overwhelmed but I'm definitely learning it isn't that simple. Blogging helps, talking helps, and I'm sure after a week or so, it'll all start to feel much more normal.

Sleepover!

Yesterday (my third day in Bangalore), I went with Cynthia to Bangalore Palace and commercial street. Isabel and Brenda weren't feeling too well, we tried to all meet up but both of them felt car sick along the way-- it probably won't be too long until that happens to me, but luckily my stomach is still okay! Bangalore Palace was SO BIG, and there was a connecting garden that was crazy pretty. Cynthia and I took an auto rickshaw to commercial street and walked around the vendors before grabbing dinner at a vegetarian Indian restaurant. Afterwards we walked outside and went to some of the nicer stores and I got this really pretty floral dress that the lady was nice enough to alter for me! Because the dollar is equivalent to about 66 rupees, one thing that all of the Cultural Vistas fellows have noticed is that everything is so so inexpensive, which definitely helps make this trip feel easier. After the day ended, I spent the night at Cynthia's place which was definitely a nice change!

Lost in the city (already)

After we grabbed a late lunch with Naina, we realized that no one had data to call an Uber so we each waved down rickshaws. Most rickshaw drivers don't speak English so Naina told them our addresses and they did the Indian head bobble thing that so many people here do, and drove away. Two hours later, I realized my driver had no idea where he was going... and after he pulled over, gave me a look to get out of his rickshaw and my adamant refusal to move from my chair, we eventually made a non-verbal agreement to find people that spoke English to translate directions along the way to help get me back home. Definitely terrifying but oddly accomplishing!

Adventuring a little bit further

Today, I finally traveled further than the block surrounding my hotel! I got up around 5:30 AM took an Uber to meet the three other Cultural Vistas Fellows (I live pretty far from everyone) and Naina, our Cultural Vistas mentor in Bangalore. Today was so much better than yesterday!! For one, I ate more than a few bites of pasta, but also we figured out how to use some of the bus systems and went to Commercial Street to explored the shops for a couple hours, (also we saw the first white person since leaving the airport.)

Bangalore Airport

These are the three other girls who received the Cultural Vistas 2016 Fellowship to Bangalore. It took us 2 eight hour flights (with a layover in Frankfurt, Germany that was spent sprinting across their complicated and too large of an airport), to reach our final destination. This is the first picture we all took together after landing! 

Landing in Bangalore

I landed in Bangalore, India today at 2AM, (my home for the next two months) and I don't think I've ever felt this afraid in my entire life.  When you travel to another country, you hear a lot of people talk about culture shock, but wow it's so so real, and I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I've already cried a few times today.