Small feminist rant about a small annoyance

Yesterday, Naina, the lady who works with Cultural Vistas in India, came to my work to visit with me and Santhi to get an update on my progress, and I don't know if it's the shift in environment or just that I'm interested in what I'm currently working on, but I've definitely gotten a pretty significant chunk of work accomplished since starting. I finished up so more activities for the sustainability classroom activities, and headed home around 6 with Santhi. I've definitely learned that one of my pet peeves is men who act entitled to female validation. Someone asked me to hang out after work yesterday and after asking "this is just as friends right?", receiving a response that says "We'll let the evening decide that" and having one of the first things he ask me be "are you a lesbian? Because you give off a lesbian vibe", I figured out pretty quickly the night wouldn't be ideal.

I'm not usually one to be abrasive, but if you fucking tell me that people who are bisexual are just experimenting, shove in too many racist jokes (which aren't funny) and get personally insulted (and then pretend not to be by questioning my sexuality) if I say I'm not interested in dating you, it's kind of hard not to be. On top of that he insisted on paying for my dinner and walking me home, both of which I'm sure were done with the best intentions but felt forced as if it were his "male duty" rather than chivalrous.

Sure, the conversation flowed, sure, it never felt awkward and sure, it definitely could have been worse. But when you comment on my silence, it's not because I have nothing to say but because I'm trying to bite my tongue because WOMEN DO NOT HAVE TO VALIDATE YOUR SHITTY ASS MASCULINITY. Don't call yourself a feminist. Don't tell me I'm fucking overthinking your messages when I tell you I don't want the starting or ending point to be my home, because telling me I'm over reacting, intentionally or not, is a manipulation tactic used to make women feel like they can't speak up about their emotions. Don't ask me why I chose to cut my hair because "it looked pretty long." Don't tell me it hurts your feelings when I say I still don't feel comfortable showing you where I live because I'm a female who has been conditioned to be cautious around men they don't know well, particularly at night. So sure, if you don't want to label the night as a date or just as friends, that's your decision. But if I tell you specifically that we are going as only friends, that is me saying no to the possibility of anything more, end of discussion. If there is anything that stuck out to me most, it was probably this. A no is a fucking no.